Me: hates waking up early. Can’t function at work with less than 8hrs of sleep.
Also me: sleeps at midnight and wakes up 3am to catch a bus to God-knows-where.
And also me: (limited vacation leave) sleep is for the weak! Gotta see the sights and go on an adventure!
I don’t consider myself a likeable person even on normal days and more so when I don’t get enough sleep. But when I am traveling, I can function with almost no sleep at all and without the help of caffeine. 😂
There is a reason why I don’t put on make-up or spend a lot of time thinking about what to wear. Every morning, I would abuse the snooze button for as long as I can and then some. I’d quickly shower, grab whatever clothes within reach, comb my hair and leave the house— all in 30mins. Did I mention my shift starts at 10AM and I live about 15-30mins away from the office (depending on the traffic)? I sleep at a minimum of 9hrs everyday. 😂
It’s like I’m am entirely different person when I travel. For one, I talk to people like it’s the most normal thing for me to do. On normal days, I’m not really into people.
“What is the first thing you expect people to do when you meet them the first time?”
I have come to realize that people don’t understand me at all. When I say that I expect people to leave, I don’t mean that I expect them to leave me alone. I mean that I don’t expect anyone to stay in my life forever. And it is not just because there is no forever. People leave. They always do. They come into your life, they become part of it and then someday they will leave.
I have learned a long time ago that saying goodbye is not always a bad thing. I have learned that when people leave, it doesn’t mean that they hate you or will forget about you. Sometimes, they don’t want to leave. They just have to.
I have come to accept that we all have different paths to take. I believe that our paths crossed because we need each other even when we don’t realize it. There is something in you that I have to learn and there is something in me that I probably have to impart. There are lessons that we need to learn from each other so we can become better people.
There was a time in my life when I questioned why God would let me meet people who would become really important for me then take them away from me. Then I realized that He takes them away from me because I have learned what I can from them and now I must learn from someone else. Much like how the Pevensies had to discover Narnia.
The thing about life is that, it doesn’t matter if you like someone or not. You learn from them. Your experiences with them become a part of you and affects whatever happens to you in the future. The way you see life, the way you react to situations and the way you like or hate something, it is influenced by people who became a part of your life.
I have read somewhere that man’s greatest fear is that, someday we will be gone and we will be forgotten. I think that is why we do what we do. We create memories with people so that if we ever have to leave, they will not forget us.
I am always ready to say goodbye. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt me but it doesn’t mean that I am going to stop them from leaving. I believe that people have to walk their paths and go on their journeys with whomever they want to go with or have to go with.
I am not a good person. I can be very difficult to like because I can be very tactless and I can only assume I do not look very friendly to people. I can only hope that I have lived my life in a way that when they remember the memories we had, they would look back with a smile. I can only hope that they learned something from me the same way I have learned from them.
And this may be out of the topic but re-reading the first statement made me realize that this is probably why I am not in a relationship. Oh well, the things you learn about yourself.
Not all stories start with once upon a time. Sometimes you just realize it has started and it is too late for you to get out of it. You have been written and there is nothing you can do but see it through until the story ends.
I am not sure where my story started or when I realized it has started. I am not sure if I should say that I woke up with a start. I am not even sure if I was asleep in the first place. I try to recall the last thing I did. Nothing comes up.
It feels like one moment I was nothing and then I am. It feels like I have lived forever and yet haven’t lived at all. I look around me and I see people smiling at me like they know me and I know that I know them but I couldn’t understand why I have to know them or why they have to be a part of my life. Why am I here?
I once saw this movie where one character said, “All will be revealed in the end.” (X-Men Apocalypse, if I am not mistaken.) Well, I am still waiting.