The Question We All Ask At Some Point

Not all stories start with once upon a time. Sometimes you just realize it has started and it is too late for you to get out of it. You have been written and there is nothing you can do but see it through until the story ends.

I am not sure where my story started or when I realized it has started. I am not sure if I should say that I woke up with a start. I am not even sure if I was asleep in the first place. I try to recall the last thing I did. Nothing comes up.

It feels like one moment I was nothing and then I am. It feels like I have lived forever and yet haven’t lived at all. I look around me and I see people smiling at me like they know me and I know that I know them but I couldn’t understand why I have to know them or why they have to be a part of my life. Why am I here?

I once saw this movie where one character said, “All will be revealed in the end.” (X-Men Apocalypse, if I am not mistaken.)  Well, I am still waiting.

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Musings of an adult

When you’re a kid the world will try to tell you so many things to prepare you for this so-call adult life but sometimes, the world has a way of leaving out the juiciest details of it whether that is by accident or intentional, your guess is as good as mine.

But I guess it doesn’t matter how much you prepare because there are just some things that nothing and no one can prepare you for. You can delude yourself into believing that you are ready but when you are an adult and you are faced with real adult problems, you realize your life was so much better when you were a kid. But there’s no turning back.

For instance, they don’t really tell you how, as you grow older you will lose more and more people you’ve learned to love. They will not tell you how painful it is bury a friend, a family member, a pet. They will not tell you about the incapacitating pain a heartbreak can give you. They will not tell you how crazy the world is. Probably because they know that if they tell you, you wouldn’t want to grow up.

They will tell you the sweetness of a first kiss, but that’s something you just got to experience firsthand. They tell you about being successful and following your dreams like it’s the easiest thing to do. They don’t tell you how difficult and challenging it is.

Yet somehow, this is how it should be. We all each have to stumble our way through life and find that place where we belong. We all have to explore and find out about things by ourselves because not everything can be taught to us. We just have to learn it and wing it as we go along.

This is just another playground with more complicated play sets. Not everyone will play nice. So many people will try to beat you to that swing. Someone gets pushed, someone cries, someone wins, someone loses and we all pay the bills. At the end of the day we all go home, clean ourselves up and get ready for another day.

Don’t be deceived though. That may sound easy but life is still a crazy bitch. Beautiful, yes. But still a crazy bitch.

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*I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Proofreading via mobile is a challenge for me.*