What advice would you give yourself (if you can)?

If I am given the power to travel back in time and smack myself in the head, I’d give myself three pieces of advice.

1. Invest. Get a mutual fund or something. I spent my first three working years in Bacolod city. The cost of living is relatively low compared to Cebu. The pay is lower in amount but I am earning more considering that I get to keep about 50-70% of my pay. I was able to save part of it but spent it all when I moved to Cebu city. Most of the time though, I’d spend all my money on things I don’t actually need so there are times when I’d be left with almost nothing. Nobody taught me that I don’t need millions to invest. If I did invest my money, I could be living comfortably now. Probably.

2. Learn to say yes. My life would be so different if I said yes to some things. I probably wouldn’t be where I am now, doing what I am doing. There’s a part of me that wants to hit myself in the head but there’s a part of me that’s contented. It is what it is. The pieces have fallen. I have moved on. 😂💔

3. Keep in touch. I am very bad at keeping in touch with people although I don’t really forget people who became a part of my life. I do remember them, all the time in fact. I do miss them. I do want to reach out to them. I’m just really bad at it. It takes me weeks or months to respond to messages because I have to think about it first. I have to be mentally and emotionally ready to respond. I always think they might be busy or they probably don’t remember me anymore and i don’t really want to bother them. Sometimes, by the time I’m ready, it’s too late. 

I would be a hypocrite if I say that I have lived a life with no regrets. There were certainly things that I could have done better and would if I could turn back time. I don’t always make the most intelligent decisions in life and my actions don’t always result into what I hope it would result into but I have learned from them. I just wish I had known back then the things that I know now. 

CROSSROADS

At some point in your life, you reach a crossroad. A turning point that will dictate how the rest of your life will go. You can stand there for all eternity and weigh all the options but sometimes the only way to find out if you made the right choice is to move forward. The consequence will tell you whether or not you chose the right path. Sometimes, we regret choosing the path we took and find ourselves wondering if it is too late to turn back and go the other way. Sometimes we already know it is too late and so we go forward and learn to live with the choices we made. For some of us, the regret is too big that we end up giving up and deciding that this is it, we can’t go any further.

Unknown to us is that, sometimes the two paths converge at a certain point and it didn’t really matter if you took the one on the right or the one on the left because it all leads to the same destination. The only difference was the scenery.

We learn what we can from the choices we made. We try to pick the best path for us to follow taking into consideration every single shred of information we can and weigh all possible options. Sometimes, we even try to predict the future, though we know how futile that is.

If, by any chance, you are in that crossroad right now, take it easy. If you have already chosen and at some point along the way you realize that the trail you picked is harder that you expected, don’t give up. Hang in there. Just take one step at a time. Things do get better. 

“…rest if you must, but don’t you quit.”

One Lifetime VS One Thousand

​My internal monologue is currently dominated by this thought: “To live and die or to live forever?”

A thousand lifetimes, that is how Arwen Undomiel describes immortality. What would you do if you have a thousand lifetimes to live? What would you do if you can live forever? What if, like Arwen, you are given the choice? Which would you choose?

Since time immemorial, people have been looking for ways to extend life, to stop ageing. We love stories about vampires because the idea of immortality is fascinating. To be able to live forever, stay young forever. Humans would do almost anything to cheat death or at least extend their expiration date. 
What if I am given the choice?

This thought is weighing heavily in my mind. On the one side, I cannot help but think of the many things I can do if I didn’t have to die. I would be able to explore every nook and cranny of this planet and perhaps other planets when humanity finally reaches that milestone. I would have all the time to learn everything that I can of this world. I can learn all its languages, all its history, experience all its cultures. Imagine the implications of that. Imagine what I could learn in a thousand lifetimes.

On the other hand, I cannot help but think of how lonely it would be. When everyone you know and love is gone. I keep thinking of Lestat and Louis and how Louis described the loneliness and the pain of seeing everyone he loved growing old and dying while he remains unchanged and knowing the he will live forever. I keep thinking of how Lestat eventually tried to kill himself because of it. If there is one thing the Vampire Chronicles has taught me, it’s that immortality is not what it’s hyped up to be.

I guess I want to live forever, if all the people I love can also live forever. If I have to live a thousand lifetimes without them, then immortality would be useless. I guess I am fine with being on my own as long as I know that somewhere in the world; I have these people who care about me. Not even all the knowledge in the world can replace the people I love. 

In the end, I would probably do as Luthien and Arwen did. I would choose a mortal life.