Saying Goodbye

“What is the first thing you expect people to do when you meet them the first time?”

Me: Leave.

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I have come to realize that people don’t understand me at all. When I say that I expect people to leave, I don’t mean that I expect them to leave me alone. I mean that I don’t expect anyone to stay in my life forever. And it is not just because there is no forever. People leave. They always do. They come into your life, they become part of it and then someday they will leave.

I have learned a long time ago that saying goodbye is not always a bad thing. I have learned that when people leave, it doesn’t mean that they hate you or will forget about you. Sometimes, they don’t want to leave. They just have to.

I have come to accept that we all have different paths to take. I believe that our paths crossed because we need each other even when we don’t realize it. There is something in you that I have to learn and there is something in me that I probably have to impart. There are lessons that we need to learn from each other so we can become better people.

There was a time in my life when I questioned why God would let me meet people who would become really important for me then take them away from me. Then I realized that He takes them away from me because I have learned what I can from them and now I must learn from someone else. Much like how the Pevensies had to discover Narnia.

The thing about life is that, it doesn’t matter if you like someone or not. You learn from them. Your experiences with them become a part of you and affects whatever happens to you in the future. The way you see life, the way you react to situations and the way you like or hate something, it is influenced by people who became a part of your life.

I have read somewhere that man’s greatest fear is that, someday we will be gone and we will be forgotten. I think that is why we do what we do. We create memories with people so that if we ever have to leave, they will not forget us.

I am always ready to say goodbye. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt me but it doesn’t mean that I am going to stop them from leaving. I believe that people have to walk their paths and go on their journeys with whomever they want to go with or have to go with.

I am not a good person. I can be very difficult to like because I can be very tactless and I can only assume I do not look very friendly to people. I can only hope that I have lived my life in a way that when they remember the memories we had, they would look back with a smile. I can only hope that they learned something from me the same way I have learned from them.

And this may be out of the topic but re-reading the first statement made me realize that this is probably why I am not in a relationship. Oh well, the things you learn about yourself.
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Musings of an adult

When you’re a kid the world will try to tell you so many things to prepare you for this so-call adult life but sometimes, the world has a way of leaving out the juiciest details of it whether that is by accident or intentional, your guess is as good as mine.

But I guess it doesn’t matter how much you prepare because there are just some things that nothing and no one can prepare you for. You can delude yourself into believing that you are ready but when you are an adult and you are faced with real adult problems, you realize your life was so much better when you were a kid. But there’s no turning back.

For instance, they don’t really tell you how, as you grow older you will lose more and more people you’ve learned to love. They will not tell you how painful it is bury a friend, a family member, a pet. They will not tell you about the incapacitating pain a heartbreak can give you. They will not tell you how crazy the world is. Probably because they know that if they tell you, you wouldn’t want to grow up.

They will tell you the sweetness of a first kiss, but that’s something you just got to experience firsthand. They tell you about being successful and following your dreams like it’s the easiest thing to do. They don’t tell you how difficult and challenging it is.

Yet somehow, this is how it should be. We all each have to stumble our way through life and find that place where we belong. We all have to explore and find out about things by ourselves because not everything can be taught to us. We just have to learn it and wing it as we go along.

This is just another playground with more complicated play sets. Not everyone will play nice. So many people will try to beat you to that swing. Someone gets pushed, someone cries, someone wins, someone loses and we all pay the bills. At the end of the day we all go home, clean ourselves up and get ready for another day.

Don’t be deceived though. That may sound easy but life is still a crazy bitch. Beautiful, yes. But still a crazy bitch.

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*I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Proofreading via mobile is a challenge for me.*

The thing about life

Life is a fragile thing. It’s unpredictable and messy. One moment you feel like you’re the luckiest, happiest person in the world and then BAM, smackdown! You’re spiraling into an abyss, not knowing if you’re drowning or burning (or both) but definitely alive.

But life is also a beautiful thing. It is full of lessons, fun and hope. You just have to know where to look.

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It’s not always dark and gloomy though sometimes it feels like it is. There is always something that brings a light into your life and paints a smile in your face.

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*I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Proofreading via mobile is a challenge for me.*