My internal monologue is currently dominated by this thought: “To live and die or to live forever?”
A thousand lifetimes, that is how Arwen Undomiel describes immortality. What would you do if you have a thousand lifetimes to live? What would you do if you can live forever? What if, like Arwen, you are given the choice? Which would you choose?
Since time immemorial, people have been looking for ways to extend life, to stop ageing. We love stories about vampires because the idea of immortality is fascinating. To be able to live forever, stay young forever. Humans would do almost anything to cheat death or at least extend their expiration date.
What if I am given the choice?
This thought is weighing heavily in my mind. On the one side, I cannot help but think of the many things I can do if I didn’t have to die. I would be able to explore every nook and cranny of this planet and perhaps other planets when humanity finally reaches that milestone. I would have all the time to learn everything that I can of this world. I can learn all its languages, all its history, experience all its cultures. Imagine the implications of that. Imagine what I could learn in a thousand lifetimes.
On the other hand, I cannot help but think of how lonely it would be. When everyone you know and love is gone. I keep thinking of Lestat and Louis and how Louis described the loneliness and the pain of seeing everyone he loved growing old and dying while he remains unchanged and knowing the he will live forever. I keep thinking of how Lestat eventually tried to kill himself because of it. If there is one thing the Vampire Chronicles has taught me, it’s that immortality is not what it’s hyped up to be.
I guess I want to live forever, if all the people I love can also live forever. If I have to live a thousand lifetimes without them, then immortality would be useless. I guess I am fine with being on my own as long as I know that somewhere in the world; I have these people who care about me. Not even all the knowledge in the world can replace the people I love.
In the end, I would probably do as Luthien and Arwen did. I would choose a mortal life.