(freewriting) My Heart’s Little Home

It seemed I only blog when I’m down. I only blog when I feel too much emotion but can’t seem too when my brain is overflowing with thoughts. I’m starting to become an emotional writer. Not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.

I’m a very opinionated person but when it comes to my emotions, this is the only way I can vent out. I’m never the type to actually say how I feel. Writing has always been my way of expressing myself. It’s just easier that way.

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I'll post bright and sunny photos to distract you from how gloomy this all is. Hope it works.

It’s easier to just write it down so they don’t hear me choke in tears. It’s easier to write it down because then my heart can break in silence and nobody has to hear it. It’s easier this way because then I don’t have to explain myself to anyone.

It doesn’t even matter if nobody reads it. It doesn’t matter if someone reads and doesn’t care.

My blog is the cemetery of my thoughts. This is where they all go, get written, die and buried. This is where I revisit them to see how far I’ve gone or how far I’ve fallen. This is where all of the broken pieces of my heart go.

———
The world is bigger than I am. I am but a tiny, negligible part of it. Even if I am gone tomorrow, the world will go on.

Whatever is happening right now is no about me. I should not make it so. I should not let my emotions rule and let my brain do its job.
—-
People always end up hurting me. That’s why I hate people.

I must be a truly bitter person to feel how I feel right now.
——-
Do you know why I travel? Because sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me anchored to this world. It’s like a safety rope, a harness, that tethers me to this beautifully chaotic world.

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As long as I can plan my travels, I have a will to go on. The prospect of so many things I have yet to explore is what keeps me going at times when the things that should keep me going starts to drag me down.
——
I wonder, how do you keep on living when your reason for living is driving you crazy enough to make you want to stop living.
This is a crazy world. Beautiful but crazy. I just can’t leave it yet no matter how much it hurts me to keep going.
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Posted via Mobile.

*I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Proofreading via mobile is a challenge for me.*

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