It’s one in the morning, why am I still awake? How long have I been awake? Does it even matter? Who cares?
The sandcastle is crumbling. The illusion is shattered. We’re back to what it was before. More sleepless nights. More silent tears. More people pointing fingers. More people blaming instead of helping. More people breaking other people’s hearts.
I always seem to end up getting blamed for things that I have no control of. I always seem to end up suffering from the actions of adults who should have known better.
Sometimes I question why I’m here not because I am philosophically curious but because I genuinely don’t understand. Sometimes I would start thinking that I have it figured out then life would suddenly pull the rug from under me and I am left barely hanging on.
I guess there was a part of me that always suspects things are too good to be true but I chose to ignore because as much as possible I want to delay facing the truth. What’s the truth? That everything is a lie. That everything is an illusion. That there is no more bond that truly connects us more than our need to keep appearances.
Sometimes it is far easier to just see the world in rose colored glasses. The sandcastle is long gone. Swept away by the wave. All that is left is a memory of it. A memory and a trail of tears.
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*I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Proofreading via mobile is a challenge for me.*