Musings of an adult

When you’re a kid the world will try to tell you so many things to prepare you for this so-call adult life but sometimes, the world has a way of leaving out the juiciest details of it whether that is by accident or intentional, your guess is as good as mine.

But I guess it doesn’t matter how much you prepare because there are just some things that nothing and no one can prepare you for. You can delude yourself into believing that you are ready but when you are an adult and you are faced with real adult problems, you realize your life was so much better when you were a kid. But there’s no turning back.

For instance, they don’t really tell you how, as you grow older you will lose more and more people you’ve learned to love. They will not tell you how painful it is bury a friend, a family member, a pet. They will not tell you about the incapacitating pain a heartbreak can give you. They will not tell you how crazy the world is. Probably because they know that if they tell you, you wouldn’t want to grow up.

They will tell you the sweetness of a first kiss, but that’s something you just got to experience firsthand. They tell you about being successful and following your dreams like it’s the easiest thing to do. They don’t tell you how difficult and challenging it is.

Yet somehow, this is how it should be. We all each have to stumble our way through life and find that place where we belong. We all have to explore and find out about things by ourselves because not everything can be taught to us. We just have to learn it and wing it as we go along.

This is just another playground with more complicated play sets. Not everyone will play nice. So many people will try to beat you to that swing. Someone gets pushed, someone cries, someone wins, someone loses and we all pay the bills. At the end of the day we all go home, clean ourselves up and get ready for another day.

Don’t be deceived though. That may sound easy but life is still a crazy bitch. Beautiful, yes. But still a crazy bitch.

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*I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Proofreading via mobile is a challenge for me.*

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The thing about life

Life is a fragile thing. It’s unpredictable and messy. One moment you feel like you’re the luckiest, happiest person in the world and then BAM, smackdown! You’re spiraling into an abyss, not knowing if you’re drowning or burning (or both) but definitely alive.

But life is also a beautiful thing. It is full of lessons, fun and hope. You just have to know where to look.

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It’s not always dark and gloomy though sometimes it feels like it is. There is always something that brings a light into your life and paints a smile in your face.

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*I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Proofreading via mobile is a challenge for me.*

Of death and friendship

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“I wonder what’s gonna happen to me when i turn 30?”…

We will never know the answer because a week ago, he left us.  Too soon. Too soon.

His name is David Jhules, but to me he will always be Dibid Jools- my huggable friend. I met him in college and we’ve been friends since then. We’ve had our ups and downs, like a lot of friends do. Despite the distance, time, and the occassional disagreement over Chris Evan’s ass, we remained friends.

People who doesn’t know him would think he’s brash, insensitive and tactless. Well, he was tactless but he was also a big softy. He was caring, childish, funny, and sensitive. He’s a teddy  bear.

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I guess you never really know how much you love someone until they’re gone. You never know how much they’ve touched your life until that moment when you realize that they no longer there and you are left with a gaping hole in your heart.

I have been trying to wrap my mind around this. I’m trying to accept and understand  that you are truly gone. I just can’t. I am not ready to say goodbye.

Do you remember the last time we met? We were both broke yet you still traveled all the way from your hometown to see me and be with me until my ferry leaves. That day, you taught me what real friends are.

I envy you, my friend. I really envy you. You are now privy to life’s biggest mystery and you weren’t the one who was curious about it.

If you can only hear us talk about you, you would know that you have been successful. You left us something that made us smile and laugh. You left us something that lifted our spirits. You were an important part of us. You gave us your friendship. You trusted us. You will always be a happy memory for me. You broke my heart when you left but it’s okay. I will patch it up with the memories you left us.

I will miss you, my huggable friend. Only you will have that title, i promise.

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*I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Proofreading via mobile is a challenge for me.*