Dear Soda,
Our relationship has come to a point where I have become obsessed with you. A day without you is a day of utter confusion and complete chaos. I am, without a doubt, addicted. I have become a slave to your sweet, cold temptations.
I have tried, time and again, to free myself from this bewitched state. But like every other hopelessly inlove mortal on earth with a slight case of stockholm syndrome, I always find myself succumbing to your charms and running back to your arms. No matter how far I try to run, I always find myself snuggled sweetly in your carbonated sweetness.
There is no easier way to say this. I am breaking up with you. I am breaking this cycle of temptation and mindless submission. I am breaking this love affair that has caused me so much happiness and hospital visits. Yes, the time has come for us to say goodbye.
I am not going to pretend and say, “it’s not you, it’s me!” because this is totally about you. But yes, this is also about me. We just can’t be together anymore. The pain has already outweighed the happiness. Our love is strong but my kidneys are not. So we must say goodbye.
I love you but I must turn my back so I can become a better person. I have loved you too much. I must now learn to love myself more.
Goodbye!
~~~
TL;DR- UTI, too much soda. I need to stop.
That’s What I Thought! 